My eldest son is an adult. I gave birth to him 21 yrs ago & now it’s time to let go of his childhood and embrace his adulthood. I sometimes wondered what life would be like when my child grew up, but there was never a clear image. (Probably blurry because of constant demands.)
Can’t begin to put into words the jumbled emotions bouncing around now – imagine overwhelming pride, gratitude, sadness, elation and grief mixed with relief! Letting go is like giving birth again. Except after they leave home, there’s no baby shower or fanfare. There’s just a quiet knowing that my role as full time mom is over. And I did good.
Over the years teaching, researching what to do next, guiding and pouring truth into your child becomes less and less. They become more competent and confident. And then one day you wake up and realize you are not responsible for him day to day, month to month or year to year. He can take care of himself.
This ‘letting go’ has been a journey for many years. There were all the small letting go’s including his first day of pre-school, kindergarten, high school, prom and college. Each time I let go, my son and I were being prepared for the next stage. And each time I let go a little bit more it hurt and yet, felt deeply fulfilling to know he was growing up. This is the role of a mom – to love unconditionally, grow and then to let go.
The heavy lifting of my Mothering job is done. My son a fine young man who is a strong, responsible, fully fledged adult. To say I’m proud of him does not accurately express the fullness in my heart. No words can. Woo hoo!
For my sons 21st birthday gift, I gave him ‘Dave’s story book’, a journal filled with stories I have written about him since birth. There were stories about the loving family that encouraged him, school success and failures, family vacations, disappointments from when kids were bullies to the joys of getting into college, and everything in between
It was heartbreaking to pass the book & let go of it, but alas it’s his life story to write in now.
A mom gives birth to her child’s life story and also gives birth to herself. Both mom and child are forever changed after giving birth and then after launch. Letting go is a huge gain for your child and a huge loss of identity for mom. This transformation opens up time and energy for new opportunities. Just like I didn’t know how to be a good mom, now I don’t know what is coming next. What I do know is, we will create something wonderful.
Thank you God! Please continue to bless and watch over my boy who will always be in my heart, my baby. He has always been yours and now I fully let go. I may not be able to be with him to protect and guide him, but you will. So, you’re going to keep hearing from me. Please help me Lord, to continually let go with grace and embrace my life anew.
The best is yet to come.
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