I realized I was always rushing – even when I didn’t have to anymore. You see, I cut back on my work to caregive for two people and I had a lot more time to think.
And to worry.
In my morning prayer & journaling time I sat down and wrote, “Why are you always rushing?” Then the words flowed from deep inside me, “Because you have to do more and you have to be more.”
What? Why? “Because you’re not enough.”
A floodgate of “You’re not enoughs . . .“ rushed out of me.
- You’re not thin enough. (When are you going to lose that weight already?)
- You’re not caregiving good enough. (You should be able to fix this and you’re not!)
- You’re not popular enough (look at your peers who are speaking so often and you’re in hospital rooms, doing nothing much.)
- You’re not loved enough by __________. (Insert abandoned or aloof family members here.).
You name it, the negative beliefs flowed out and the hits just kept on coming.
After a long list flowed, I began to cry gently and then tears flowed heavier. It was one of those cries to let go of years of pain, and hurt and disgust. Followed by even more tears.
I And then I wrote. . .
“You are enough”.
And followed up with all areas I am enough! I was standing up for me against ghostly thoughts that still lingered in my mind. What a huge relief and revelation.
I had no idea that program was repeating itself in my brain.I’ve been retraining my mind ever since. Replacing the limiting beliefs with.” I am enough and I’m peaceful growing in areas to be my best. Not others versions of me.
Those programs have been running for decades. In my quiet time I begin with, “I am God’s child. I am loved. I am adored. I am enough. Aaaahhh. Exhale.
I thought you or someone you know might need to hear this today.
I am enough. So are you. God loves us just the way we are and he loves us enough to nudge us to grow to be our own best selves.
Have you struggled with realizing your worth or feeling like you’re not enough? If so, please share your story or any tips about how you have realized you are enough.